Stealth camping in suburbia—it’s a game of survival, where you’re dodging the watchful eyes of Karens, nosy neighbours, and the local law. You’re not just parking a van but blending into a world of mundane routines. Here’s how to pull it off without getting busted.
Choose Your Location Wisely
Location is everything. Look for quiet streets where traffic moves slowly and people mind their business. Hide in industrial areas, behind office buildings, or in massive parking lots—anywhere you can disappear into the background. Stay far away from schools, busy intersections, or high-traffic areas. That’s where trouble finds you.
Blend In
You’re not on some wild road trip anymore; this is suburbia. Park like you belong. Don’t stand out by angling your van weirdly or taking up prime real estate. Park up late and leave early, Keep things calm, quiet, and invisible. Keep your van lit softly inside—don’t light it up like a kebab shop at 3am.
Be Discreet
Suburbia is a hotbed of paranoia. Leave a piece of rubbish, and someone’s bound to report you as a threat to the neighbourhood. Keep your space clean, leave no trace. Stay low-profile. Cover your windows and don’t move around too much. You’re a ghost—act like one.
Be Aware of Local Laws
Unfortunately, this game comes with rules. Check the local ordinances about overnight parking. Some areas are off-limits, especially coastal areas, and you don’t want to wake up to a ticket—or worse, the dreaded Karen knocking on your van door.
Be Respectful of Neighbours
Noise is your enemy here. People in the ‘burbs love complaining about even the smallest disturbance, so keep it down. Don’t block driveways or draw attention by making too much of a scene. Just slip into the rhythm of the neighbourhood, and no one will even notice you.
Have a Backup Plan
Always have an escape route. If things get too hot, know where you can go—campgrounds, RV parks, or the open road. Never get caught with nowhere to run. Wiki Camps is your friend.
Stealth camping is a fine art. Stay calm, blend in, and you’ll survive suburbia like a seasoned pro.
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